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Saturday, September 2, 2017

diving straight into fall!

Some people might sit around wanting to blog but not have anything to say, no encouragement to write.  I'm kind of the opposite.  I have SO much to say but I get overwhelmed finding a starting point that I just keep the laptop closed and procrastinate on regular updates.  It's a sorry state to be in because I never regret past posts when I look back on them even if they are just a quick blurb and shot into life at the time. Isn't that what this is, really?  Just a glimpse into life as it is right now?  So here we are, what is life right now?

Life these days is a little bit crazy but we are getting into a groove.  Summer was over before we knew it and as we transition into fall, Molli and Gavin wrapped up their second weeks of school and are doing so well!  Gavin started a half day kindergarten at Grace Lutheran.  He's a young kinder so he is going to do the same thing we did with Molli and use this time to grow in skills and mature a little bit before we do "official" kindergarten at public school next year.  He has writing homework everyday and while it's kind of a struggle for him, he's been amazing.  He's trying his best and working so hard on those fine motor skills!  He'll be reading and writing before we know it.

Molli started first grade at Kaleidoscope, the arts and science charter school where my mom works.  Getting to see Grammy each day has been a huge thing for my kids!  They love all their grandparents but man it is special and good to know that her Grammy is loving on her when I'm not there.  Her teacher seems very sweet and has already recognized her academic levels so she will for sure be challenged this year, which is great!  My girl is a reader like her momma and it thrills me!  She is excited to go to school and learn new things.  She's making friends and seems to be confident with herself at this new school. It's a bit of a commute, but so far clearly the right choice for us. She is also growing up in ways that are completely appropriate but as my oldest, surprise me sometimes.  She's becoming more empathetic and understanding a little bit more about her place in this big world. 

With the big kids in school this year I am excited to get to hang with my littlest man more often.  We miss the others, but the one on one time will be refreshing for Baylor and me.  He is still the same sweet guy he's always been with some extra exaggeration on those eyebrows... He is still moody and enormously expressive.  Someone recently told me that they never have to wonder what any of my kids are feeling.  This is absolutely true, particularly for Bear!  He sure can give "looks"! His imagination is really taking off and it just melts me to see him starting down the path of imaginary play.  It's such a fun stage and one that always amazes me!  Their little minds are just so fun.

Myles has been amazing this summer.  To be completely honest, it's been a really hard summer but Myles' resilience is impressive.  He's shown so much grace, maturity and strength.  He's been the project manager of a job up on the north slope, which has him working away most of the time.  It's not an easy schedule for him or for the rest of the family, but I have no doubt that it's the best thing for us.  Although a sacrifice, he is providing well for our family and we are thankful.  When he is not on the slope, he has been spending most of his hitches off down in Boise with his mom and family.

Loraine, Myles' mom, had a life changing fall back in April that has really shown us how precious and fragile life is.  In the process of healing and regaining her strength and self, she found herself back in a bad state with a life threatening infection post-surgery.  It was a major setback, to say the least, but she's making steps in the right direction.  It's very difficult for all of us being so far away and not being able to help with big or little things.  The kids and I pray for Loraine daily but sometimes it feels like not enough not being able to be the actual hands and feet of help.  Myles has spent as much time down there as he is able, and I think it's been worth it.  Everyone there needs him and the steadiness he brings. The kids and I miss him tremendously, but I try to emphasize how Daddy is loving on the rest of his family and taking care of them when they need it and I remind them as well as myself that this wont last forever.  We need him home too and he will be at the end of next week!

As for me, I kind of feel like a tornado.  I'm always hustling about, either physically or just in my mind.  It's exhausting!  I have so many good things going on in my life but some of my happy places are changing and somehow I'm in unique and somewhat uncomfortable positions. I'm facilitating a Bible study this fall and need to muster up the brain power to make that happen well.  I KNOW everything will be fine but it feels like such a big thing. Literally the day after I finally said yes to that I got a text from a friend who is helping put together a women's retreat confirming the day and time of the workshop I said I'd put together and lead.  Oh yeah.  Myles and I have had helped in the youth group with the high school students for a few years and we really enjoy it.  We love watching them grow and mature as they begin life as young adults, but as our church transitions and we look for a youth minister, we've been pulled from the position we love with high school and put with 8th graders.  A group I really need to pray for my heart to soften toward!  All these things are uncomfortable and not my favorite.  I told a friend that either God is teaching me to live outside my comfort zone more OR teaching me to say no to things I don't want to do, even if they are good.  I'm not sure which but I'm sure I'll learn!

I've also had the opportunity to be involved in a ministry for teen moms called Young Lives for the past couple years and it's been such a blessing.  I got to go to camp with 6 of our girls and their babies/toddlers and what an experience it was!  This was our second year going but was an entirely different experience than the first year, with twice as many teens and all toddlers rather than tiny babies. The camp is in Oregon so the travel was a journey to say the least.  I'll spare you the less fun parts because the main takeaway is that God is incredible.  These girls have been through SO much and absolutely have my heart.  I love each of them and am honored to call them friends.

Life is good.  My kids are amazing and I am enjoying this stage of life even though I feel overwhelmed much of the time.  When Myles comes home, surely there will be a touch of respite for me as we have fun together as a family.  Until then, we'll keep on keeping on and try not to lose our collective minds! And if we're really lucky, maybe, just maybe we will get a day without rain soon!