My Three Ring Circus

Alright kids, you win.  You outnumber, out-energy, out-chaos me.  Clearly I had no chance tonight.  Daddy is out of town and Mommy’s autopilot function is out of commission until a minimum of 4 hours of consecutive sleep happens.  We cruised through the day with such success!  I was so pleased to accomplish all that I intended!  I brought Molli to school on time and even remembered to pick her up, got the car washed, did some grocery shopping, started thank you notes, cleaned the kitchen, did a few loads of laundry from start to finish, fed everyone at all the appropriate eating times and even remembered to distribute vitamins. A winner of a day!

Then came dinner, which was delicious.  Molli loved each thing included in her dinner but had me pulling out my hair with her refusal to eat it.  All the usual distractions and excuses such as “standing is more fun than sitting,” “I want to touch everything in a 10’ radius,” or, my personal favorite, “the baby is too cute, I need to look.” Plus some meal specific ones; “forks are too hard with bowls,” “it’s getting cold,” “I need help.” I don’t know how many times I had to say something along the lines of “Eat, Molli. Sit down. Put a bite in your mouth. Etc.”  I even pulled out the meanest mommy in the world card and Gavin and I had a delicious piece of chocolate, chocolate chip cake right there at the table with her.  It made her cry, but alas, it did not make her finish eating.  Eventually, an hour and a half later, she decided her arms were too tired for dinner or cake and she declared it bath time.  Fine by me. 

I got everyone all washed up, teeth brushed and jammies on while Baylor napped happily in the bouncer.  Alrighty, off to bed!  Never mind that it’s only 7:15.  I cheated and turned their “OK to wake” clock blue prematurely and they’re none the wiser.  This was when I was still pretty confident that I was winning the day.  It wasn’t long until I was proven wrong. You see, I’m human and make mistakes from time to time.  I had a temporary lapse in judgment and deemed this moment an appropriate one to trim my hair.  It’s growing out and looking a bit like a mullet in the back, so it needed to happen.  Immediately, apparently. 

Rule #1 in parenthood: be leery of impulsivity- it often backfires.

And backfire, it did.  I stripped down to my hair cutting outfit, which isn’t much. Got my hair wet and made the first snip. As if on queue, Baylor started to cry.  Uh-oh… Let’s see if I can get some of the way done before helping him.  Snip, snip, snip.  Each time the scissors closed, the crying got progressively louder and more frantic.  Ok fine, you win, baby.  It wasn’t my finest moment, but I rescued Baylor and nursed him sitting on the closed toilet in all my haircutting outfit glory, covered in pieces of trimmed off hair.  We sat there, he and I, doing our thing when a terrible THUD interrupted the giggles from the big kid’s room and reverberated through the floors. Then the crying came through the monitor and walls.  It was Molli.  Falling off the bed.  Oh, did I mention her bed is the top bunk? Well it is, and she fell off it.  I was unavoidably detained and had to debrief with her through the monitor speaker function.  She was fine but angry with Gavin for “making her fall off the bed.” I didn’t get the full story, but enough to send her back to bed, a little bit in trouble for messing around.

I put a sleepy Baylor back to bed and left to check on the big kids who were not even pretending to be asleep. The little turds were running around, wearing Gavin’s swimming gear over their pajamas with everything strewn about the bedroom.  Laundry basket emptied, a brand new container of wipes also emptied, all the pillows, blankets, stuffed animals and books on the floor.  Just a mess.  

I let them know I meant business, made them both cry and put them back in their beds. (Which is another whole issue as Gavin is barricaded in his bed with a rail and gates. Apparently he can squeeze between the rail and top bunk and plop himself to the floor.) I made threats and left. Not long later I walked back in and about flipped out at them.  I watched Gavin nosedive back into his bed shouting “NOOO MOMMY!” and Molli threw herself backwards onto her bed, pulling the covers over her entire body.  As though that would make me believe she’s sleeping???

I pulled out the big guns because at this point, it’s going on ten and I’m over the shenanigans. I stayed true to my threats and sent Molli to bed in a tent in the play-room and put a gate up in the doorway where Gavin remained.  I’m not interested in him coming in and destroying my precious sleep before “clock is lellow.”

So now, if you’ll excuse me, tonight’s chicken pot pie dinner is cementing itself to the dishes. I may not win the whole day, but at least the dishes don’t talk back. 

Welcome to the world Baylor Michael Sansotta!

In just over two weeks I’ve fallen in love and lived an eternity in the blink of an eye.  It’s indescribable what adding to the family does to a mother but, for the third time, I’m here. I’m here staring down at deep blue eyes, tiny fingernails and little tucked up froggy baby legs.  Sometimes all I can do is stare.  This boy is perfect.  This child, so precious, was created and grew inside me into a real life, gorgeous little being.  All his miniature parts are perfect and functioning. I’m just amazed!

Amidst the admiration of my beautiful new baby and routine-lacking life I’m here, ready to share something.  But where on earth does one begin?! How can I capture and express everything I’m feeling in a simple blog? I suppose the answer is that I can’t, and I don’t have to.  But if I’m going to start somewhere, let’s start at the very beginning (it’s a very good place to start).  

The day a child is born is one that is etched into the memory forever.  There are details that I will surely never forget but many that will fade over time.  The emotions connected to these details however, are etched on a mommy’s heart and although words are insufficient to describe them, every mom knows that breathtaking moment in time where a connection is made.

The baby has hair, dark hair! Just one more push, the baby is almost here! Oh it’s a boy and he’s gorgeous! Did they just say Baylor’s a boy? Yes! And he’s perfect.

The first cry fills the room- a beautiful sound of life.

Laying on my chest, breaths evening out and color fading to a healthy pink.

I melt beneath the weight of this tiny soul in my arms.

He’s absolutely perfect, and he’s mine.

Welcome to the world Baylor Michael Sansotta!

Since that moment my life has changed. As we get to know Baylor, we are adjusting to a new normal. I’m awake more at night and less productive during the day.  The house isn’t as clean and no one notices if I forgo showering, mostly because nobody but my family sees me anyway. My big kids don’t get quite the attention I was previously able to offer, but they are loved and happy.  I’m tired, deeply tired, but I'm even more deeply full.

Baylor's birth story

I went to the doctor on Monday, November 24^th in the morning.  I had Dr. Lee check me, hoping that the Braxton hicks contractions I’d been having were helping my body progress, even if it’s not a real indicator of impending labor.  She checked me and said that there wasn’t much membrane to sweep but that I was 2cm, almost 3cm.  Throughout the day I felt contractions but they didn’t disrupt anything for my daily routine. 

            That night we put the kids to bed and were watching House when I realized that the contractions were becoming more and more consistent.  I decided it might be a good idea to start timing them around 9:00pm.  At that point they were 10-15 minutes apart, then closer to 10:00pm-12:00am they got closer to 5-7 minutes apart then stayed that way with a few irregularities.  Around 2am I was sick of laying in bed next to Myles, who was sound asleep, so I decided to relax in the bath tub.  It eased the discomfort substantially, although I was very tired afterward.  From there I went downstairs and laid on the couch, hoping to get some rest, but was too uncomfortable and ended up sitting on the couch with the heating pad on my lower back, which felt amazing.  I did a little bit of laundry and moved to sitting on the yoga ball.  I realized once I was sitting there that I was really looking for pain relief and things were getting more intense.  I decided it was time to make a move toward the hospital.

            I texted Myles, who was sleeping upstairs, but he didn’t respond, waited a couple minutes and called him to say let’s get moving.  Then I called Mom and told her it’s time and she said Dad would be on his way asap.  I went upstairs and woke Myles up for real and told him we need to get going.  He decided to take a shower while we waited for my dad to come.  Dad came, told me to “have fun” and we were on our way with a roughly thrown together hospital bag.

            We got in the car and pretty much immediately the low fuel light came on.  That's one of the last things you ever want to see when you're in labor! Luckily we made it to the hospital around 5am, Myles dropped me off at the ER, where I checked in and then went to Maternity from there. I was initially put in a triage room where I was asked some basic questions and Rhonda checked me.  I was 4cm, almost 5cm and was definitely going to be having a baby.  We got settled into the labor and delivery room shortly after that.  I was already exhausted from having been up laboring all night long so I decided that I would like to have an epidural in hopes of getting some rest.  They started me on a bag of saline right away (with an IV in my wrist, ow!), and monitored me and the baby from a yoga ball.  Baylor was wiggling and low so it was hard to keep track of the heartbeat on the monitors.  Myles pushed hard on my back through the contractions and Rhonda pushed against my knees.  The counter pressure really took the edge off! The contractions were quite intense by the time the anesthesiologist arrived.  She was efficient, which I appreciated. 

(Already exhausted, sitting on the yoga ball. Clearly between contractions)

            At about 7:15 I got an epirudal and was checked immediately after.  At that point I was 8cm, almost 9cm with my water still intact. At 8:45 the doctor came and broke my water because things weren’t really progressing with it intact. We expected things to be very fast at that point but I was losing energy from being up and without food for so long.  They said I needed to eat something to raise my blood sugar, and the baby’s, so I had a popsicle at 9:30.

(Relaxing with a popsicle)

Dr. Lee went back to the office to let my body work a little bit to move the baby into place.  The baby's body was turned slightly and had a little way to descend still since the water was in the way before. 

            Becky, my nurse, checked me and had me do a quick practice push and called the doctor over from the office in a hurry because the head was quite close with a push.  When Dr. Lee arrived she didn’t even want the bed transformed, she just sat on the end and had me push. I pushed through two contractions and had my sweet boy in my arms at 10:42!  He was quite purple but crying beautifully and pinked up quickly.  Myles cut the cord.

(Very first moment!)

(He came out kind of purpleish)

(First big cry! Let it rip!)

            It was a very tiring stay at the hospital but I really cannot speak highly enough of my nurses and doctor.  They were very calming and helpful throughout the whole process.  Baylor is a good nurser and a generally content baby so far!

(Love at first sight!)

(The perfect addition to our family)

(The boy has some lungs!)

We only stayed one night and went home in time for dinner the next day.  Our hospital allows things to be as organic as we desire, which I appreciate. I know some places whisk the baby away immediately, but we were able to have skin to skin time, delayed cord clamping, even no bath at the hospital. We were allowed to leave the same day if we wanted but I thought it would be beneficial to get a night's rest with the help of the nurses.  I think it was, but I don't expect to catch up on my sleep for about a year!