I was on a roll for a while there, but I slacked off and now have to rewind myself for a proper update.

Miss Molli has been growing up before my eyes.  She passed her 6 month mark, with a checkup at the doctor's office confirming that she is, in fact, perfect.  Our rascal was 14lbs 6oz and 25.5in at her appointment, concluding that she is of average length/height and relatively skinny.  Oh yeah, and she has a big head =)

Speaking of big head, little missy got her portraits done today and ushed and gushed over her images on the screen as we were picking out what we wanted to get. She seemed to recognize herself!  Unless, of course, she was just excited to be looking at a TV without me turning her away. The pictures went well and I left there with prints in my hand and feeling quite proud that I didn't buy anything that I didn't already plan to buy.

She has been exploring the world on a slightly different level now that the weather has temporarily improved.  We've gone for walks, with her sitting upright in her stroller and we've hit the park a couple times now.  Our girl loves, loves, loves the swing!  She gets all tense and squeally when the air hits her face and she flies through the air.  So fun!

A couple we are friends with are letting us borrow their exersaucer until their to-be-born little girl is old enough for it.  Let's just say, Mommy gets to take showers lasting more than 3 minutes again!  It's a wonderful thing, all around!

Molli and I are heading up to Alaska for a couple weeks on Saturday.  It will be sad to leave Myles behind, but other than that, I am really looking forward to the trip.  We'll get to see Grammy and Papa, and Molli (and I) will get to meet some friends!  A few of my friends back home have had babies around the same age as M so we'll definitely have to make play dates!  It's been fun watching her learn to interact at play dates now.  She loves to look at other babies and gets so very excited about it.  She'll just smile so big and want to touch the other kiddos.  I love it!

Right now she is singing (at least, that's what I like to think it is) to herself and playing.  She can certainly manhandle those toys now!

I'm a mom!

I had to laugh at myself today because I used a "momism."  Molli was sitting in her high chair, enjoying her apple filled mesh bag and a sippy cup with water and a splash of apple juice.  What a treat!  She is new at the sippy cup thing so I offered her a bit of guidance.  I helped her tip it up a bit and suggested that she "use two hands."

Hearing myself say those words stopped me in my tracks and brought me right back to my childhood.  I bet I never had a drink without being told to use two hands. Even now, as an adult, if I have a soda in the cup holder of the car, I feel somewhat rebellious when I pick it up from the top, using only one hand.

The inevitable is happening.  My baby girl is growing up, and she's doing it without my permission.  I get all teary-eyed and sentimental realizing that tomorrow my sweet little one will be 6 months old.  Half a year, but she may as well be moving off to college.  How is this happening?!  I was warned left and right that babies do this to their parents everyday.  I thought I believed it before, but now I'm in a horrendous state of denial and it's making my cheeks wet. How am I supposed to cope with the fact that once a moment is gone, it's gone forever?  My little Molli will never be this little two toothed, 14.5 pound, bundle of every emotion possible again.

There is nothing sweeter than the warm weight of a limp baby asleep on my chest.  It's a rare occasion for Molli to be a calm, limp anything, so when I have these cuddly moments I really treasure them.  I want to soak in everything about her at this precious stage.  Her noises and sweet milky baby scent.  Myles even commented the other day that her head smells less like baby and more like hair now.  This might not make sense to anyone who hasn't spent much time holding a baby close, but for anyone who has, this might hit home. Hair; big girl hair. I'm excited to one day comb through and braid Molli's hair, but the thought of this head lacking the baby smell makes my throat tight because it's one of those things that will never come back.

I don't mind change, really.  But this kind of change squeezes my heart and leads me to a lot of sentimental stares.  I get all gooey when I hear the lullaby music we spent so much time listening to when she was a newborn.  I make sure to spend some time each day dedicated to that particular moment.  Contrary to the theme of my last post, I truly do make an effort to ignore the constant nagging in my head to get things done.  The laundry will wait, the dust isn't going to mind sitting there any longer and the table will probably become more cluttered before it gets any better.  All this is inconsequential, I know.  I may feel like a failure for having a messy house, a body I'm not proud of and a serious lack of social interaction... but at the end of the day, I am a mommy.  I'm a mommy who isn't perfect, but who is perfectly in awe of countless blessings.


Remember this?

I had the opportunity to spend some time with a good friend of mine the other day.  She is also a stay at home mom and we share some of the same feelings about it.  It is the joy of my heart to be home with and raise Molli, the best way I know how.  It's a fun, rewarding and extremely sentimental job, but it's also the hardest job I've ever had.  It's less intense pressure than other jobs I've had and I do not have deadlines and people expecting too much from me.  It's more complicated than that.  I have my own expectations to live up to now.

I get to be mommy, but I still have to keep up with all the housework.  It's like a juggling act.  Run downstairs and start laundry, just in time to come back up to Molli crying because I walked out of the room.  The moment she sees me her arms go straight into "pick me up" position and her crying lessens. It's sweet, but also sad and makes it hard to accomplish anything.  There is an expectation for me to stay caught up on all the chores, but I have not mastered how to do this. 

I think anyone would tell you that caring for a baby is hard work.  Molli definitely raises the bar on the words "hard work." She is full of life and personality, but with that also comes temper, short attention span and constantly wanting to be held. Bouts of crying can last a ridiculously long time, but are so easily remedied by simply picking her up.  It's tiring to figure how best to deal with it.  I don't want her to be one of those babies who has to be held all the time, but no one likes to listen to crying.  Also, factor in teething discomfort and join in the internal battle with me. 

Caring for a baby is a full time job and I've recently discovered what is so difficult for me.  I don't have a break.  My day starts bright and early and I do the baby thing and the household chores thing all day. Then Myles comes home, which helps, but I'm definitely not off the hook.  Then comes bedtime and I'm essentially on call all night.  Before I know it, Molli decides it's morning already and I'm still tired, the house is still not clean and the list just grows. My days just spiral into one another with no break.  I used to break it by going to the gym but that got in the way of the few hours Myles and I have together everyday.  It's hard.

I know it would be hard to work outside the home, in terms of planning and whatnot, but I also think it would be easier emotionally. Everyone needs a break, even if it's from one form of work to another.

I can't wait for the weather to warm up.  I need to leave the house more often.  I don't really have anywhere to go but sans car, a walk would be nice.

*note: I'm not complaining, just sorting through some of the difficulties I'm struggling with.*

Welcome Addison Jane!

Molli and I had the pleasure of venturing to Chicago for a couple days to spend time with some very special people.  My best friend joined the ranks of motherhood on Thursday and we took it upon ourselves to help welcome this sweet new baby into the world. Addison Jane Ritter was born at 7:41Thursday morning, measuring in at a delicate 6lbs 4oz and 19.5 inches long. She has light brown locks and unbelievably perfect little features. It’s a rare occasion to see a beautiful newborn, but Addison is one of them.  

I spent quite a bit of time remembering Molli’s birth and our experience in the hospital. It made me thankful all over again for the tremendous blessings we received there and the insurmountable joy of meeting my baby girl for the first time.  Nothing in the world will ever compare to that first moment, staring into her eyes for the first time after carrying her all those months. I am so grateful for the opportunity to be there as Amanda shared in those experiences and dips her toes in all of the intricacies of mothering a newborn. 

(look at our little city baby!)

We had a heck of a time getting up to Chicago.  Long story short:  After some deliberation regarding who should go, form of transportation, length of visit, etc. It was decided that Molli and I would take a LEX bus, meet up with Nancy at Midway Airport and share a cab to the hospital.  As it were, things did not run as smoothly as planned but eventually Molli and I did make it there, by means of a bus, a shuttle and a taxi (a couple hours past schedule!).  It was a little overwhelming traveling alone with her to/in a city I’m not familiar with, but we made it!  I didn’t get to spend a whole lot of time at the hospital because they have a “no children under age 12 rule” so today was the gem of the experience.

Addison and Amanda were discharged from the hospital and Drew brought them home in a fancy schmancy car.  Lou Lou, Stella, Nancy, Molli and I were so excited to welcome them to their home for the first time as a family of three.  Addison got to meet her doggies, sleep in her crib, look out her window to view the city and meet her best friend.  We already have big plans for Molli and Addi.  Molli is pretty much gargantuan next to little Addi, but she has plenty of time to catch up.   All in all, it was a very nice visit- one we will certainly never forget. 

 

Amanda is doing well recovering from labor and delivery and is a natural at mommyhood.  Drew is also getting his hands dirty and relishing in his new responsibilities of being a daddy.  He’s taking his role very seriously, utilizing google on a regular basis (what did people do before internet research?). They are both quite obviously in love with their little angel.  Grammy Nancy is there for a couple weeks mommy Amanda and to give some major snuggles to her granddaughter. Everyone is thriving and life is so, so good.