To sleep or not to sleep... WHY is this even a question?!

This particular post is one that I think about writing on a daily basis.  The long awaited sleep update...

I distinctly remember thinking, when Molli was about two weeks old, a thought that likely jinxed everything.  I am so lucky to have such an easy baby!
Are you kidding me?!
Fast forward six weeks to when little missy was eight weeks old.  I had another thought that jinxed another important are of my life.   I am so lucky to have such a fantastic sleeper!  This thought crossed my mind after Molli's first full night of sleep.  And by "full night" I mean about 6 or 7 hours without waking up to eat or needing me.  It was glorious!

Sleep was not an issue for us until Molli was about 5 months old.  At this time she was working hard on popping some teeth though her sweet, smooth gums and was growing more and more demanding about seeing me at night.  Back to getting up once or twice a night...I could handle that.  Once or twice a night quickly flowed into eight to ten times a night.  THAT, I could not handle.  My sanity was slipping through my fingers with each passing minute of desired sleep.

*side note*  I have reason to believe that males have an uncanny ability to sleep through anything, or fake it disturbingly well.

Anyway, I wasn't sleeping, Molli wasn't sleeping and we were both crabby on a regular basis.  I consulted friends, I consulted the internet, I consulted books.  We tried crying it out, a miserable failure for us this time around.  She will literally cry for 2,3,4, even 5 hours before even considering slowing down. (I have never met such a stubborn child!)  We tried putting her down very drowsy, to no avail. We tried putting her to bed asleep and trying to sneak out.  We tried co-sleeping.  We've tried everything that has been suggested and we've learned that *gasp* babies aren't all the same!

We are finally seeing light in this tunnel and we're really hoping it's the end of the tunnel, not just a crack in the wall.  The general idea: At first hint of sleepiness, I grab a pacifier, and snuggle her tight.  We rock or sit in a dim room until she is drowsy.  When I see her eyes roll around, I tell her it's time to go to sleep and she goes in her crib.  Typically if she is still awake at all, she cries and we start over.  Then I put my hands on her until she gives up and goes to sleep. However, more often than not, I have been waiting until she is truly sleeping before putting her down.  Then the tricky part is sneaking out without ruining everything.
Mother may I Turn around
you may CREEEEAAAAK
Mother may I Step right
you may SQUEEEEAAAAK


The blasted floors moan and groan as I quietly sneak head out of the room.  I may as well be an elephant tromping about.  I have a pathway mapped out in the nursery that allows me to exit in the precise footing of least disturbance.  Unfortunately, my daughter has taken after her mother and is an extremely light sleeper.

*side note #2* I will never, ever, ever live in a house with loud floors again.  Especially if a baby is involved.

More recently in our sleep saga, we have implemented a strange little trick.  This trick came in the mail from a good friend in Florida who has many a story to tell of her sweet little one and the trouble he had sleeping in his earlier days.  This trick is a brilliant one!  Fake weighted bean-bag arms!  (Recall with me the cozy lead vest at the dentist during X-rays).  I place the crazy arms on her body to trick her into thinking that I am still there, holding onto her shoulder and legs.  It's not totally foolproof, but it does seem to be helping.

She is sleeping in her crib most of the night, most of the time, these days.  I go to bed anxious every night, dreading the hour when I will hear the monitor by my bed calling out for "mahmah."  I love to sleep, and highly doubt I have gotten really good, solid, peaceful sleep even once since she's been born.  In the days when she was actually sleeping well through the night, that mommy part of me was still up, listening and waiting for her cries.

Things aren't perfect, but I don't think it would be motherhood if they were!  Everybody has their struggles and this is ours in this season.