The Sleep Saga Continues

If there’s one thing I’ve learned since becoming a mommy, It’s that parenthood is full of challenges.  I’ve had my limits, patience and endurance challenged, sometimes on a daily basis.  I would say that our primary challenge with Molli has been regarding the issue of sleep.  She has never been a great sleeper, and despite the tried and true techniques presented to us, Molli broke the mold.  She had reflux when she was little so sleep was inevitably going to be a problem.  Once the reflux was under control, we attempted sleep training, which was an absolute disaster.  We let her “cry it out,” which, despite the success most everyone we knew had with the theory, it failed miserably in our house.  I remember her crying in her room for up to five hours, while my heart broke and I cried in another room.  Phew, it was ugly!  We tried everything we could think of- crying it out, attaching to a “lovie,” nursing to sleep, rocking (oooh, the rocking), walking, car rides, co-sleeping, even fake weighted arms to trick her into thinking she was still being held.  We had minor successes, but ultimately, sleep times generally sucked.  I dreaded naps almost as much as I dreaded bedtime.  Myles is dead to the world when he sleeps, so the responsibility fell heavily on my shoulders.  That being said, I rejoiced in a major way when, around her first birthday, she gave it up and became an excellent sleeper.  Sure, we’ve had our sleep fights since then, but for the most part, things have been good. 

Fast forward to now.   She’s currently sleeping in a pack-n-play at my parents’ house until we can get her real crib out of storage.  Some nights are decent, but oh my, when it’s bad, it’s really bad these days. She gets out of that thing like it’s nothing, and constantly comes looking for me. What gives???  She’ll acknowledge that she’s tired, but refuses to stay put.  I dread the moment when I lay down for bed and hear her scratchy voice yelling “All done! Yeah, Mommy! All done! Night-night?  NO! Mommy! Etc.” It never fails.  Myles can roll over, put his pillow on his head and sleep, no problem.  I can’t.  I have the lovely opportunity for much midnight bonding.  Many times this “bonding” requires me repeatedly replacing her back in her crib, listening to her scream at/for me, giving her water, turning on her music/projector over and over and typically, eventually sleeping in her room. Definitely far from ideal.

This challenge in particular has taught me, primarily, my capacity to love.  No matter now crazy she makes me, I remain head over heels with this girl.  I’m incredibly thankful that this love comes so naturally. These experiences will undoubtedly increase my number of gray hairs but have really deepened my appreciation for a good night of sleep!  She’s currently reciting the dreaded “All done! Yeah, Mommy? All done…” monologue.  Here’s hoping she turns it off and sleeps well tonight. 

A well rested Molli = A well rested Mommy

A well rested Mommy = Ability to exist the next day

In the words of a wise friend (shout out to Nancy Ranke!) “I don’t exist when I’m tired.”