The sleep battles...

We’ve cried it out, we’ve put her to be drowsy, we’ve put her to bed asleep, we’ve let her sleep with us.  We’ve done pacifiers, attempted sleep props, and even weighted arms to trick her.  We’ve rocked, we’ve walked, we’ve driven.  We’ve gone for stroller rides.  We’ve read books, sang songs and stuck to bed time routines.  You name it, we’ve done it. 

And here we are…

My girl is turning one and we are still lost in terms of sleep.  We’ve made major strides in the last few months, for which I am proud.  But I’m also at a loss.  We’ve come to a new point in this lovely adventure where our previous tricks are not working.  Holding her to sleep was always the sure way for bed time to actually happen.  Now she fights and squirms.  Where holding her tighter used to calm her, it now frustrates her. 

I get insanely jealous of those whose kids just babble and maybe let a fuss or two escape before drifting off to sleep for hours, day or night.  Hours, during the day?  That actually happens?  Darn right it does- I’ve heard incredible dreamy rumors from many-a-parent. These moms have it good, and probably don’t even know it!  I wish our biggest child related problems were related to accepting a sippy cup, resisting diaper changes or crabby bath times.  Are you kidding me?  Stay awake for a year, then we’ll talk.  (of course I’m exaggerating…a little)

Our experience with crying it out has been awful.  Molli will literally cry and cry for hours.  The longest we have let it go on is 5 hours, and every minute was torture.  We tried it for a long time and never saw a light at the end of the tunnel.  Molli was miserable, I was miserable and I’m sure Myles wasn’t thrilled about it either.  There is nothing as discouraging as feeling like a failure and having those feelings confirmed by others.  Since all else seems to be failing, or at least not succeeding, we are reverting back to the crying. 
*Side note- this is not aimed directly at any particular person, more a general sense that I gathered from those more distant from our situation*

Last night we made her start from scratch.  She was beyond tired, utterly exhausted.  And angry.  I kept checking on her every 15 minutes- with reaching in the crib snuggles and a drink of water.  I set in my mind that if this big time crying goes on until 1:30am, I’d go get her.  That was my deadline.  That would have been three hours of crying… An hour and a half later, she fell asleep sitting up!  Success

Nap #1- Forty minutes of crying, then 25 minutes of sleep- Success!

Nap #2- SIX minutes of crying, then an hour nap! Super, amazing success!

I just put her in bed and I’m not even kidding, by the time I turned on the monitor she had stopped crying and was laying down.  She wasn't asleep immediately, as evidenced by short bursts of vocal frustration. Maybe ten seconds of crying... I am amazed! 

My girl became ready for sleep training, in her own time.  I am hoping (and praying big time) that this is a permanent improvement to her sleep habits.  It is so far vastly different than our past experience with crying it out, in that she is actually sleeping and not getting upset and stiff each time we go anywhere near the crib. 

I hope that anyone reading this can glean some hope from our experiences and trials.  It seems that people are quick to pass along advice, ensuring that it’s golden.  They likely have all the best intentions and truly believe that their words will solve all your problems.  However, every child is different and I want to encourage anyone who needs to hear it, don’t feel like a failure when some bit of “solid” and “sure” advice fails you.  You take what you want, try new things and don’t believe for a second that there is one right way to do things.  You are not a failure if something doesn’t go quite as planned and your child is not a failure if he/she does not respond to whatever training attempts.  Keep trying and in time, something will work.  Some kids just don’t fit the mold that inspired all the parenting books.  Be adaptable and consistent.  Take some advice and leave some but don’t feel bad about it.