Molli is in rare form today. She has been a fairly difficult child from the beginning but today is pushing me to the edge. I know she doesn’t feel well and is most likely cranky and needy because of her ear infection and cold. But you know what? I don’t feel well either! I’m cranky and needy but instead of getting to rest and be tended to, I have been doing my best to summon patience from someplace deep inside me and tend to my needy girl. Unfortunately, Myles isn’t feeling well either, so our whole household is fresh out of the “feel goods.”
She’s been throwing ugly fits all day and wanting me to hold her, but when I do she wants down. Up, down, up, down, up, down. Cry, cry, cry. She has definitely mastered throwing fits and has been practicing her form on the living room floor. She wont eat, she wont play, she wont sleep, she wont even pretend to be content with anything.
And I am severely on edge.
I want to put her somewhere safe, and leave for a few hours minutes. Currently she’s in her crib, crying and I was trying to clean up the house, but she could hear me walking and it’s making her more upset. So, I’m sitting, listening to my baby girl cry. It’s heartbreaking and I just don’t know the right thing to do. Should I take her comfort into consideration and continue to hold her and risk losing my cool? Should I just let her cry? I just don’t know. It might be one of those days where it’s just a matter of time before I cry and have my own tantrum right next to her. On days like this, it seems like there is such a fine line between failing and doing the right thing.
Being a mom is hard sometimes.
Oh Erin, I feel you! I was there a few weeks ago. David was sick, I was sick, and Oliver had a bit of a cold as well. You're doing such a good job with that spirited little girl. I really feel like we have such similar experiences with our babies. Both seem easily discontented and incredibly full of life and energy. I think some times you just have to let them cry and walk away or put some headphones on. Truth is, she's probably not going to be content with you holding her for long anyways, so you might as well try to gain a nugget of sanity and reprieve. Praying for you today. I also know what it's like to be so frustrated, yet have no family to call for backup. SO hard sometimes. Love you lady!! And please don't focus on failing or doing the "right" thing. Sometimes I think it's just really not about that at all. I think we just have to struggle through it all the while calling on Jesus to pull us through. He shows his strength through our weakness :) Keep pushing through!
ReplyDeleteI just started all of this, and I've already had to plop the baby somewhere safe and go cry in the bathroom. I agree with Emily. There is no failing as long as you are loving your daughter. The right thing really is whatever is right for your family. So, I'm praying for you here in Seoul.
ReplyDeletethe rough days make the sweeter ones all the better...my little guy has been sick the last 2 weeks and finally had a "normal day" today and I was just amazed at how much I got done during the day (3 loads of laundry, house scrubbed down, & a few hours of work for my company done)! He had literally been sick so long that I thought his sick personality was the new normal...what a sweet surprise today to find out it wasn't!
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, Erin. I am so sorry about the haha funny comment on facebook!!! I didn't know she was not feeling well!!! I would not have laughed. Very sorry. Putting them in a safe place while you go cry is A-ok. I love you. I am so sorry that your whole family is not feeling well. Praying for you three.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being a mommy to me too last night when I called you about my sickness : )
ReplyDelete