It was a beautiful Christmas, indeed.  Myles and I had the pleasure of hosting our family for this very special holiday.  It’s a rare occasion that our family gets together, much less, the whole family.  I’m talking grandparents and everything!  This year was made extra special by the inclusion of two darling babies.  Molli met her five-week younger cousin, Jackson, for the first time.  Obviously that was the most adorable thing ever!

My sweet nephew is an entirely different breed than Molli.  He is sleepy, cuddly and mellow as can be, whereas Miss Molli is a bit dramatic, intense and a more rigid sort.  It’s amazing how opposite their personalities already are, even at such a young age.  Molli loved staring at Jack and when given the chance, several times she tried to reach out and grab him.  The next time these kiddos are together will certainly be a riot- when they are more aware of what’s going on and likely to interact.  I’m already excited for it!

As always, it was really hard to say goodbye to everyone.  It’s wonderful that we live in a day and age where it is possible to live where our hearts desire, but it’s complicated when the heart conflicts with the desire to be near family and also to be in a particular state.  Therefore, the 6 originating from this family live in 4 different states, and one is temporarily homeless and has not claimed a state yet. (The homelessness works to my benefit though because Sir Homeless is my nanny for the time being!)

Molli made out like a bandit at Christmas and has more adorable clothes (like seriously, so, so cute!), some toys, pacifiers and a new stocking.  She got a new doorway jumper, which is right up her alley.  She loves it!  She doesn’t exactly jump a whole lot, but anything that will allow her to stand, is a definite winner.  This kid is stiff and does NOT prefer to sit or lay, at all.  So standing, spinning and some form of jumping suits her just fine…especially since she can gnaw on the seat part in front of her face.  

She has definitely discovered her mouth and her hand/mouth coordination.  Everything she touches goes straight to her mouth.  And when she’s not touching anything, then her hands are in her mouth.  If the pacifier is already there, it’s OK, she works very hard to make both her pacifier and her hand fit.  It’s a rare art. 

Another favorite is her peacock.  It’s blue with a black and white design on the tummy and crinkly colored tail feathers.  There is a handle on the bottom and a hook to hang it.  SO MUCH FUN!  She plays with this little guy an awful lot.  I have a feeling he will be part of her life for a while.

All in all, a great Christmas, a wonderful year, a beautiful, fun, and always-learning daughter.  No complaints here! 

I put these pictures on facebook, so I know most of you have already seen them, but they are just too funny not to include here.

My grandparents came into town last night from Arkansas.  Grandpa had a bad heart attack last week, so it's an extra big blessing to have them here with us.   Nate, Tamara and baby Jackson will be here tomorrow afternoon, then Mom, Dad and Zach will come tomorrow night and finally, Brian will be here Sunday afternoon.  It's going to be amazing to have everyone together!  I love my family so much.  I am very lucky to be part of a family who considers one another friends, not just family members.

Life is just good

Watching my baby girl succumb to the grips of sweet sleep tonight triggered all kinds of thoughts in my head.  With each long blink, my heart smiled because there is nothing more perfect than a baby in my arms.

As a kid all I ever wanted to be when I grew up was a mommy.  Then as I got older, it became more imperative that I choose a grown up status that involves an income. I identified occupations that I would at least partly enjoy; writer, counselor, teacher... To some, those may describe a perfect job, but to me, doing any of them would be futile and ultimately unfulfilling.  But alas, I went to school for counseling and got my feet wet.  And honestly, I did enjoy it.  It's cool to be able to help people and bring home a paycheck!  However, even while helping others make sense of chaos and guiding them to discover their worth, something was missing.  I didn't want to help other kids fix their lives, I wanted my own kid to guide, nurture and snuggle with.

Then finally, my dream came true.  I am a mommy and it's the best thing in the world.  Nothing else brings me more happiness than hearing my daughter's giggles.  I even take the moments of screaming with joy (although it's harder). I know that in addition to properly functioning lungs, her cries represent her understanding that she is cared for. She knows that her dad and I will do whatever she needs to survive, feel safe and loved.  Sometimes I wonder if we are spoiling her by holding her, rocking, and snuggling too much...but then I realize I don't care all that much.  This time is short and I never want to take a moment for granted.  I don't want to resent her cries because I'm trying to fold laundry.  The laundry will be there forever, but she will only be my little baby who wants me to hold her for a little while.  Why deprive both of us the satisfaction of being in each other's arms when the alternative is listening to her want me and matching socks instead?  The choice is obvious.

These were not all my thoughts as I watched her slow blinks.  I also was thinking of where I am in life right now. I am in Lincoln, Illinois.  Woohoo.  I am far away from my family and really have a hard time with that.  I don't care for corn fields and wind just doesn't do it for me. Lincoln has bragging rights regarding rich soil and the ability to see forever, neither of which really do much for me either.  However, I am living here for a reason and it is good.  This has been the land of opportunity for us. I have had the opportunity to gain education here in getting my masters degree and support my husband as he works toward his.  I have had the opportunity to live in the midwest and understand a little bit about the culture. I have had the opportunity to live in a lower income/less expensive community, which has enabled us to buy our first home and be able to live comfortably. Of all the places we desire to live, nowhere else would allow us to live off of my husband's salary and my not even part time work.  Being a stay at home mom is my dream job, and whether or not I will get to do this forever, I am loving it right now, in this moment.

So, all this to say, I love my life.  It may not be exactly what I thought things would look like right now, but it is good.  I love my family, we are happy and healthy, we are safe and warm, God has provided.

Things have been improving in the Sansotta household.  Molli is on medicine for her reflux, which seems to be helping.  She still "spits-up" a lot (if you can call it that), but she doesn't seem uncomfortable and in pain in the evenings, which we are all thankful for.  It's awful to watch her cry, knowing she is uncomfortable and not be able to do anything to help her.  She still gets cranky sometimes, but usually just because she's tired of hungry (which she is often because she's in the middle of a growth spurt).

We've (I've) been getting ready for Christmas.  Almost done with gifts for everyone and Christmas cards are ordered.  I got a fantastic deal on photo cards ($5.26/60 cards and free overnight shipping!) and am just waiting for them to arrive.

Myles is done working at UPS and has started his new job at Neal Tire.  This is a big blessing for him because he was very ready to be done with UPS. This new job is in Lincoln so he doesn't have to commute to Springfield anymore. To celebrate the end of the UPS era, Myles threw away all his work shirts (after removing all the buttons, just in case we might need them) and putting them on the dogs.  The one he was wearing he "hulked out of" and ripped it off of himself.  He was pretty disappointed that I wasn't looking at the time.  Sorry Myles...I know you're super strong though <3

I know this video is long, but it's OK because there is a surprise ending =)

Mommas of the world...help!

Alright all you mommas out there, enlighten me!  Over the past few weeks Molli's tendency toward reflux symptoms has me convinced, more and more each day, that she is, in fact, experiencing reflux and not just typical baby spit-up. It comes out projectile style and has potential to soak anything in a foot radius.  Electronics are not safe, burp rags decorate our house; draped over chairs, on tables and dresser tops, anywhere the baby might be, a burp rag is sure to be found. My baby is a magician.  She can consume 4oz of milk, regurgitate 8oz and still grow.  It's amazing!  She throws up immediately after she eats, off and on up until the next feeding.  I can keep her upright the entire time and still it comes flooding out, without warning.  She gets the hiccups often, and it's not uncommon for milk to come back up with each hiccup. It doesn't seem to bother her during the day...but by evening, she can turn into a very sad and uncomfortable little girl.  She will cry and cry and it's almost impossible to console her.  If I hold her with my hand kinda pushing on her tummy, she'll sometimes calm down.  These big screams have been almost nightly for the past week and a half and it is just so sad.  She will cry SO hard and gulp down a ton of air, which gives her gas and makes everything worse.  Gripe water seems to help a little, but usually only temporarily. I'm going to call her doctor tomorrow but I thought I'd check and see if anyone has any thoughts/advice. (Leigha!) She has lots of the symptoms of reflux that I've researched (throwing up, gagging on hands/fingers, sudden crying/irritability, arching back/neck *although not all the time,* wet burps and hiccups).  Advice? Thoughts? Magical solutions?

Far too long

I am a bad blogger!  Sorry to be such a slacker.  It's not that I don't forget to blog, it's more that I don't think there is anything terribly interesting to say or I never find the perfect mood.  But here goes!

Myles' family came over for Thanksgiving, which was nice.  It's always so nice to see our family and this was an especially special visit because Molli got to meet another set of grandparents and more aunts and uncles!  (She has 2 more aunts to meet and two more uncles.)  We had a good time with them and saying goodbye was made easier by knowing that we will be in Idaho in January to see them again.

I skipped out on Black Friday shopping this year.  Actually, I've never really done it, now that I think about it!  I'm not big into huge crowds, rude people or lines, so unless there is an amazing deal that I'm dying to get in on, I suppose it's alright to miss out. Myles was a champ though and went to CVS to get a tall nutcracker for me.  I don't have any nutcrackers and I love that my first one is a tall one!  We don't have a lot of surface areas to decorate, so standing items work well in our house.  I started decorating, then stopped and now have a mostly decorated home, and a mess.  I need to get on that soon... today?

My teeth have been neglected for the past 4 years and I'm finally giving into my dental anxiety and facing the hard part.  This has made for a terrible week.  I had some cavities filled on Tuesday, then yesterday I had to get a ROOT CANAL!  I'm angry about this because I'm far too young to need such a procedure and I brush and floss daily.  Ugh!  Myles hadn't been to the dentist in twice as long as me and only has one cavity.  Seriously.  This is the same man who stated the day before our dentist appointments that he doesn't like our floss.  I've been buying this same floss since we got married.  My deductive reasoning tells me that this is the first time he has used it...Not cool!

Molli and I are hanging out together today.  We had to stay at home to wait for a piece of furniture to be delivered.  It's here now, so we can get this party started.  Grocery store, here we come! (lame.) We are both still in our jammies.  I don't mind though, jammies are better than real clothes anyway.   She is in a "don't put me down or I will cry" mood for the last hour or so.  Sooo, I busted out a sling I made and stuck her in it.  Not 10 mintues later she fell asleep.

Check out the sleepy gangster hands

We typically try to keep her up for a while after she eats, so she gets a solid nap in when it's nap/bed time, but sometimes it's near impossible to keep her any sort of alert.

Well there you go, I have now, officially, updated and am no longer a slacker! And for good measure, here is our doll baby all dressed up...

And here we are on Thanksgiving

I was recently reminded what a crummy blogger I am, so here we go!

Molli has been growing and growing like crazy! She's up to 22.5" and 10.3lbs!  She fits in most of her 0-3 clothes and some of her newborn ones too. She is smiling a ton and cooing.  It's adorable. The only thing I'm not a fan of that she's way into is puking.  She spits up like crazy these days!  We're talking, bib soaking, sending outfits to the laundry on a regular basis kind of spit up.  I smell like old milk most of the time.

Yesterday Myles and I were watching a movie and Molli was sitting with Myles, just chillin and out of nowhere she started yelling at us. I don't know if she just wanted more attention, or what, but I thought it was funny.  This is another of her new things...she just loves to makes noise!

This morning she was all smiles and sweetness... 

She is pretty much the coolest part of my life... which leaves our dogs in a sorry position.  Our poor neglected dogs!

I don't have a whole lot to update on tonight, but I figured it wouldn't hurt anyway.  Molli has been doing pretty well sleeping through the night lately, although not every single night.  She sometimes still gets up once to eat.  All in all, I feel very lucky to have such a great sleeper!  I plan on all my future children sleeping just as well as she does. =)  

Highlight of my day is that I finished making two Christmas presents, low point of the day is a massive screaming session that Molli decided to grace us with tonight.  It's so sad when she gets like that.  She just gets mad, mad, mad when she's fighting sleep!  Unfortunately this case of the over-tired bug was also accompanied by some scream-worthy gas.  Poor baby girl!  With all the screaming, she sucked in a lot of air, so I'm sure we haven't seen the end of the gas tonight.  bummer!  The only position I could get her even remotely calm was to lay her on her tummy in my hand or on my lap.  Doesn't look comfortable to me though. Once she calmed down, she fell right asleep.  (she's in her diaper because she barfed all over her clothes)

With these recent scream sessions, she's gotten some great practice at using her voice.  Cranking up the volume around here!  She's still our sweet little angel though.

She conked with big blue earlier today.  It made me laugh =)

Check out the size of that belly!

Growing too fast

Everyday I look at Molli and I am amazed by her.  I am amazed that Myles and I made her and we get to keep her and raise her.  I am amazed at how perfect she is and how bright her eyes are.  I am amazed that she is a little person, with all the same parts of a grown up person.  I am amazed to watch her personality unfold in the smallest ways more and more everyday.  But the thing that has been capturing my attention the most is how much she has grown already.  She looks up at my face with the same beautiful bright eyes as the baby placed on my chest 2 months ago.  She is the same baby we drove, so carefully, home from the hospital.  And surely she is the same baby who has captured and melted our hearts day after day.  I am in awe of her.

It is so fun watching her learn and soak up her surroundings, but it is also bittersweet.  Everyday that goes by, she is one day older.  Each day is one that I will never get to live again.  As tired or as busy as I may be, and as much as I just want to go to sleep, I have to stop myself and realize that this day is amazing.  I am so sad to watch her newborn look fade.  Although it is exciting to see her learn to do new things (she rolled over this week) and gain an understanding of her world, I want her to stay my little baby. While I love that she will gain independence as she continues to grow, I don't like thinking about her not having to rely on me.  I'm already thinking of how much I will one day miss the precious baby snuggles and the sweetness of our routine together.  There is nothing better than staring at her when, out of nowhere, she looks right into my eyes and bursts out into a huge gummy smile, just because she loves me and is happy.  But one day, that big gummy smile will have teeth.  Her smile will still be beautiful and sweet, but not the same.  Time is going too fast.

I guess the whole point of this is me expressing that I want to appreciate this angel every single day.  Sometimes she is cranky and fussy for reasons that I can't figure out, but even then, I want to appreciate her.  When she is screaming and arching her back and I've picked her up, put her down, walked around, bounced and nothing is helping and I just want to cry because I can't fix it, even then I want to remember what a blessing she is.  I want to be grateful that she has lungs that work and a voice to scream with.  One day those lungs that produce such volume, and that same voice that make sounds that break my heart will sing with me and call me "Mommy."

While I look forward to singing and listening to my sweet little girl, today I just want to soak her in and keep her my baby.

hand suckin

This chica was all smiles yesterday, but was like Michigan J. Frog from the cartoon...you know, the one where the frog sings (hello my honey, hello my baby...) and I could NOT get a picture of her.  It was very tricky.  It may be excessive, but I'm going to post all of my attempts that managed to capture an awful lot of   goofy faces instead of grins.

and my personal favorite...

I think she looks just like her daddy here.  The creeper mustache picture is the best I could find with a similar expression:

(he does the Molly expression all the time, I just don't have a picture of it.)

Molli and I went on a long walk yesterday and she was pretty chilly afterward, which required some serious snuggle time.  Snuggle time ended in an adorable nap with Daddy.

She is so stinkin adorable!  Today she is rockin the tie-dye and looking amazing!  She prefers to stand up, so I managed to keep her upright and take a picture.  About .05 seconds after this, she puked straight down herself.  Little stinker!

Am I a slacker or what?!  My goodness, I'm sorry.  I suppose busyness is to blame, or perhaps just plain and simple neglect.  Sorry blog.

Uncle Brian came to visit and we had a really good time having him here.  It makes me realize how blessed I am to have such wonderful guys as brothers.  Not all people are so lucky.  Brian was SO good with Molli, it was adorable!  Pretty much every time I looked at him, he was helping with M's pacifier, tucking her in with a blanket or just staring at her.  (She's good to stare at.) He obviously loves her!

Here he is multitasking, holding the pacifier in and bushing her hair, what a man!

They were both content just hanging out together

And when you're lucky, hanging out leads to a nap!

I told Uncle Brian to eat part of an onion and he did.  There was talk of a dollar, but nothing came of it. 

(video wont upload now, I'll try later)

Brian, Molli and I traveled to O'Hare to send Brian off.  We found where we needed to be successfully and I managed to get home safely too, which is always a plus.  It was sad saying goodbye, it always is, but I know Brian is going to have a once in a lifetime experience.  We pray for his safety in South America everyday.

Molli has been growing like a weed!  As of the 27th (28th?) she was 9 pounds, 4 ounces!  She's gaining about an ounce a day, which is phenomenal!  With all this growing she's been doing, she can pretty much fit in 0-3 clothes now.  She still wears her newborn clothes, but the ones with feet are getting short.  This girl has long and still thin appendages.  Her belly is getting bigger, and more adorable everyday =)

Look at that tummy, don't you just want to touch it?!

Her first 0-3 outfit...had to get it in before Halloween!  She's my little pumpkin!

  Look at that face!  Just as cute as her pumpkin butt =)

And speaking of Halloween...we went to a friends house to hang out.  Fred and Wilma escorted an adorable little ladybug!

She didn't mind being in her costume, but the photoshoot in bad lighting was a bit much for her after a while.  She lost her patience with me.